My Views on Veganism

Ok so this is definitely a long awaited post.

I've been wanting to go vegan for quite a long time. I really have. And I'm not going to blame a "busy life" or "the complications of it" for not fully committing yet. And no I'm NOT saying that not being a vegan is "convenient" because that's false. I am saying that it's hard for me to fully commit because of my family and my friends. I'm not blaming them, it's just their views have affected my ability to fully make a switch without feeling like I'm being judged or something like that.
Btw meet my favorite animal (stole this picture from the beautiful @living_lush aka my favorite account but also happens to love elephants just as much as I do--I'm still jealous of her elephant sheets):

Here's my problem with my family: now I'm not gonna say it hasn't improved, because it has! My parents have started to become more accepting of my lifestyle and love of bananas (they've gone from buying 2 bunches at a time to 8--still working up to that box though ;) ) and have been happy to experiment with eating my foods. My parents do however eat really healthy so it's easy for dinner to take some of the rice or veggies they cooked and add that to whatever I'm having. But then again--they L-O-V-E meat. We have a friend who runs a farm upstate and every year raises 8 cows. He gives them to family and friends. We order 1/2-3/4 of a cow every year. So now that I'm not eating meat period--I get to open the freezer every morning while I'm getting fruit and see a cow tongue sitting on top of my coconut bliss ice cream (which by the way is an absolute travesty because this stuff is the absolute shit omg it's fabulous). Now my parents have definitely stopped bugging me as much as they did before, but it's still hard when they're eating something and ask if I want it when they know I'll say no. They also still think I'm using this as a restrictive mechanism when I'm eating twice the amount I was a few months ago. *Sigh*

Here's my problem with friends: They're all veryyyy judgemental. And of course I'm all for the whole "I wont let people effect my ways" mentality but let's be real I'm not strong enough to carry that on when it comes to all these backstabbing motherfuckers I get to deal with everyday who will take anything about you and make it seem like you're a horrible person (yes some of my friends are super shitty what can I say). It's also especially difficult when it's a friend's birthday and they decide we're going to some restaurant that is meat cheese cheese meat cheese cheese cheese cheese--ok I definitely said that too many times cause now I'm getting that feeling that that's not how you spell cheese. Does that ever happen to you? Ok ADD to the max right now--and I just feel so awkward being like "Oh so I'll have the taco salad without the meat, cheese, sour cream, and everything else" I really shouldn't let these things effect me but I'm not gonna lie--they do. And another thing, if it's my friend's birthday, I will let myself have some cake or something like that because life is about balance. I eat "clean" or "healthy" about 90% of the time. But at the same time, I don't want to feel restricted by those labels because I shouldn't let that define me--I should just "eat" and it should be however I want it to be.

Now here's my last point: I feel an immense amount of guilt because of the fact that I occasionally eat something that has eggs in it or I'll have a little yogurt here or there. I feel like I'm just NOT COMMITTING. But although I feel it's not right to say I'm "Mostly Vegan", I think it works as an appropriate title for me. I do however hope that one day I'll be able to fully commit because I honestly feel the best on the days when I have 8 bananas, papaya, sweet potatoes and lots of those goodies rather than the days when I eat some toast, pretzels, yogurt, a few apples (along with other fruits ofc), and some random other crap. I never let myself feel shitty for a day though--sometimes I just make some poor choices at school and then make something special for dinner so I can start to feel better again. I personally have found that this creates a perfectly fine balance for me that has me feeling the best I possibly can while feeling like I'm having some effect on something. I just feel like we were put on this planet with the ability to eat without killing the things that live in harmony with us here. People did it before us, so we can do it too. If i hear one more person lecturing me about getting proper nutrition with veganism, I will be so pissed off because do these people look sick or mal nourished in the slightest?

of course that's my main freelee the banana girl but you get the gist

Now meet elvis: a fully raw vegan baby from @ellenfisher (one of my other favorite accounts) who's mom was (i'm pretty sure) fully raw throughout her pregnancy and then has raised him the exact same way. If you see the videos she posts of him, you can tell he is just such a happy, energetic, life loving kid. He LOVESS his fruits and veggies and eats them in abundance just like his parents who have set a really great example for him. 

So i'm really trying over here to fully convert--i truly am. But i just needed to let you guys know it's gonna take time

xoxoxo gracie

Ps. i'm sorry that i just wrote an essay i sorta just had a lot of emotions at 11 pm hahah